Traveling Blues

So I've arrived in Sydney. Getting here on the 15 hour flight was, again, not as bad as Anxious Abby pre-determined it would be. Shocking, I know.

When I planned my return to Sydney I decided I would stay at a different hostel than the one I spent so much time at last time around. I really wanted a fresh start, and thought a less familiar hostel would serve that purpose. In hundsight, maybe this was not the best idea ever as the hostel I found is quite a dud. Not very social or friendly and I haven't met anyone via the hostel. As hostels are the best way to meet people in Australia, it's quite unfortunate that this hostel didn't really give me what I needed.

I tried very hard not to let the lack of a good hostel situation set a negative tone for my trip. After all, Sydney was only ever supposed to be a place for me to kick the jet lag. But the hardest part about coming back to Sydney was how familiar it was. Being here doesn't really make me feel like I've started my adventure. I spent almost three months here last time, and I saw everything, if not more, of what I wanted to see in Sydney. There's nothing new and exciting about this city for me.

It has definitely been difficult to start my trip on such a lonely note. I am still a tad bit jet lagged and I think the exhaustion is definitely a key factor in my emotions getting the best of me. I wanted this trip to be a learning tool for me. An adventure that would not only be memorable, but that would teach me to be independent and self-reliant. Unfortunately, learning those lessons definitely comes with a few lonely days and nights.

I am trying very hard to confront my emotions head on and not let them determine my trip or my attitude. My emotions got the best of me last time and that definitely jaded my trip. I am constantly reminding myself that these feelings will not last forever, that I am capable of doing this, that I want to be here and most importantly to take the pressure off myself when things don't fall into place immediately. Because you know what? Getting through times like these is what's going to really make this trip a learning experience for me. And while I may fight with my emotions, in the end I am going to win this battle. This was my chance to hit the do-over button, which means not slipping back into the same patterns I succumbed to the first time around. Because as I saw, letting negative emotions take over was neither healthy nor productive. I am stronger then the hard times and I know I am capable of getting through them.

Today is my last day in Sydney, and tonight I hop on a 12-hour overnight Greyhound bus to Byron Bay. Can't believe four days ago I was on a 15-hour plane ride and here I am, barely un-jet lagged, and hopping on a miserable bus ride. I think I am in for quite a fun night!