G'day mates! For all those who don't know, or didn't guess, I have made it to Australia. 14 grueling hours later and I'm officially hanging out with the Aussies. Despite my anticipations about the miserable plane ride, it wasn't all that bad. Luckily I was able to half sleep/half doze for about the first 8-10 hours and after that the time flew by fairly quickly. Needless to say, I wasn't as miserable as I figured I would be. So that's the good news :)
So after experiencing my first full day of Sydney, and the best word to describe it would be overwhelming. I am staying at what looks like a pretty fun hostel. It is located in what seems like the center of the city--although I haven't really gotten a good lay of the land yet, so I may be wrong. The hostel is pretty large (7 stories of rooms of bunk beds in all) and is full of people all traveling and/or looking for jobs and pretty much doing what I'm doing. But arriving by myself, with no wing man or friends already waiting for me, I have to say it's pretty intimidating. And although I am sure plenty of people probably know exactly how I am feeling, from the outside it seems like everyone is settling in with ease and I just feel like a deer in the headlights. I definitely find myself feeling very alone. Which is ironic given how many people I'm surrounded by. I've met a few people so far, and hopefully that list will begin to grow, but after just the first day I find it hard to be optimistic. In reality, I am far more homesick then I anticipated I would be. I know this is just something I have to give time and let things fall into place, but it's definitely hard to find the calm in knowing things will work out when everything feels so big and over my head.
Today, I have my orientation with the program I came here with. I am hoping that this will help clear things up for me. I was jet-lagged and exhausted yesterday so I kind of holed up, so hopefully today I can explore and wander around and keep my mind off of the homesickness and the overwhelming feeling that felt like a gray cloud over my shoulder yesterday. Hopefully the next post will entail a little more excitement. G'day for now!
My dear, sweet Abby! Keep your chin up, friend. I completely empathize with how you're feeling right now. Everything you're describing is EXACTLY how I felt when I studied abroad in Oslo. I had no structured program like EAP, and just finding my way from the airport to my dorm, getting everything I needed in a foreign country on my own with no friends or support system was so overwhelming and intimidating that I just felt on the verge of tears all of the time for the first few weeks. And like you said, it totally seemed as if everyone around me already had their head on straight, and like I was the only one feeling that way. Obviously you have experience from this too from your year abroad in Italy, so it's good you have that perspective to know you will become more comfortable over time. I just remember being so homesick that my body physically hurt, and it was so draining just to put on a happy face when I just wanted to hide because I was so overwhelmed by all the new experiences/people and all of the unknowns. I'm glad you know that the feeling will pass, because it's hard to remember that while you're feeling it. I found that the best way to deal with it was to keep myself so busy that I had no time to think about it.
ReplyDeleteTry to make a list of all of the errands/tasks you need to get done and fill your free time with that stuff. And if people invite you along to anything, even if it sounds not fun and it's people you don't think are your type, my advice would be to just go and take every opportunity thrown your way. It can be surprising who you end up clicking with, and while there will be some awkward and annoying moments, the more you throw yourself into new experiences with new people, the more desensitized you'll become to the daunting task of putting yourself out there and rejection. Basically, fake it til you make it! Situations like this allow you to befriend people so much quicker and have such intense experiences, because you're so pumped with a roller coaster of feelings and adrenaline. Try to take advantage of that whenever you can in positive situations, and take deep breaths and remind yourself that everything is going to be ok when you feel like it's all too much. And whenever you feel lonely or discouraged, just remind yourself that even though we're not there with you- your family and friends back home love you and we are thinking about you all of the time. You're technically alone down under right now, but you won't be for long and we're all there with you in spirit!
g'dai, buckaroo,
ReplyDeleteyou'll find the aussies to be outrageously friendly and in no time will have more contacts than you'll know what to do with :-). before you know it, you'll be throwing shrimp on the barbie with the best of them. glad the xanax sounds like it kicked in for you.
by now the jet lag should be letting up and your outlook will improve considerably as a result - just hang in there. your friend above has given you some good advice so put it to good use. in the meantime, just enjoy sydney for the time being - it's a fun city.
got this on site from your 1st email before you left, kind of by accident while i was scrolling thru my inbox looking for something else, so could you put bama and i in your email reminder or access place? that way we can keep up.
love,
baba
Poor Baby, I want to give you a hug and tell you everything's going to get better--remember your sprained ligament in Rome--you came through that o:K! Somewhere there's someone (or ones) who feel just like you and you're bound to find each other and voila life will be infinitly brighter. I'm looking forward to hearing all about it and what's happening down under. Hugs and kisses via the moon Love, Bama
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